Swinger Articles

For many of us the Lifestyle is more than recreational sex, it is a way of living. We are interested in, and affected by, many things.

In this section you can learn about the effects of the Lifestyle on your health (or the other way around) and relationships. You have an opportunity to read excerpts from books that discuss topics from spirituality to sexual techniques.

Our own Lady Suzanne is a featured writer for the Rocky Mountain Oyster. She has contributed several articles so far and writes a new article every month for publication. You are also invited to Email your articles or experiences

I Flirt, Therefore I Date Part II

In part one we talked about how to flirt and now that your flirting skills have paid off and you have asked another couple to play, what is next?  Do you go to their house; to you invite them to your house, or do you meet in a public place? What is involved with sharing a hotel room? The best thing to remember is swinging is recreations so do not made it a big deal and wherever you hook up, make it comfortable.

If you are at someone else’s house remember to be respectful. Be sure to show up on time. Be polite and courteous. Be enthusiastic about the date so your host knows you are delighted to be there. If you go to someone’s home always have an exit strategy.

At home

When you are inviting play partners to your home be sure you know them. We usually recommend never have your first meeting in your home. We had some friends who invited a couple to their place, first time ever meeting them, and the guests did not leave for tow days.

Creating a sexy scene in your home is simple and enjoyable.

• Make your environment cozy. Lower the lights, play soft music, feed the cat so he will sleep. Our dog did not like us having company over for sex. He would get in the doorway turn his back on us, lay down and give a heavy sigh. It was funny. We had one friend share with us that one time during play time their dog licked his balls. So watch the animals.
• Have a cozy place to sit. Keep the setting comfortable and close. It is hard to flirt or touch if your play mates are all the way across the room. You need to be close enough to talk and if things look good, touch. Sometimes sitting in the kitchen if you have comfortable chairs, is a good place to be close. However the lighting is usually harsh.
• Have a handy place to put a glass. Sitting around, holding a drink and trying to figure out where to place it is agony. Be sure they know where to put the glass and it is handy. They may need their hands for other things.
• Keep your home on the warm side. Women are more comfortable when the environment is warm. Not hot so they feel like they are sweating, but not cold where they need to keep layers of clothes on.
• Keep your home personalized. Having knickknacks, games and books around helps to break the ice. It is a way for your playmates to get to know you a little better and can be great for starting conversations.
• Do not preset the bar. If you already have the ice bucket and bar set out it looks too preplanned. If you grab the liquor from the cabinet and get the glasses it places your flirting partner at ease. Also you can do some chatting while you pull the refreshments from the refrigerator. (Just a note: there are no foods that are aphrodisiacs.  What makes food sexy is how you eat it.) You do not want to look too professional.

What are some things you can do to flirt before getting ready for play? I have found out that even in this lifestyle the hardest thing to do is get from hello to naked. Marilyn Monroe was quoted once saying “It is not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
So here are a few ideas shared by friends.

"My boyfriend and I are both novice chess players. What we do is put on next to nothing. Then we set up the board, pour some wine, light a few scented candles and strategically place them around just enough to light the board and let the games begin.” To adapt this to playing with more than two use checkers and take sides. Each time your side is crowned you remove a piece of the other teams clothing. Do it sensually and slowly. I bet you won't be able to finish the game, but you may get lucky enough to start a new one.

Watch a funny movie.  This is a great way to spend time with your playmates and get to. Know them.  Fred and Wilma shared, “We rent a movie that we both agree is hilarious (Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail is my suggestion). Start watching it and agree that each time one or the other laughs s/he has to kiss each other. Whoever laughed the least gets to choose a romantic idea to do after the movie” This can be changed to each time one person laughs all the others kiss. (you can decide on the length and depth of the kiss) Then whoever has the least amount of kisses picks the movie for the next date or you all decide on what romantic thing to do.

Strip poker move on over! You can adapt almost any card game or board game to a strip game. You can play cards and when one wins the others have to take off one item of clothing. Try it, it is fun. Playing a game gives you time to get to know each other and be comfortable before getting down and dirty. Talk about positive subjects. Find things you have in common. Do not talk about negative things.

Fantasy Trivial Pursuit:   Play the game as though it were normal Trivial Pursuit by collecting the pieces to the pie. Before the game begins, each person writes 3 sexual favors on 3 pieces of paper then put all the papers in a pile. For every wrong answer, remove an article of clothing.  For every missed answer to a pie question, the person to your left picks something from the pile and you perform it for 30 seconds. Then back to the game. See if you can last the length of the game.

Game of Love Cards:  Take a deck of 52 cards. Assign each card a thing to do. For example, Aces get a kiss. Shuffle the deck and spread the cards out. Each person takes a turn drawing a card. Whatever the card says to do, you must do. Be creative with your ideas! Have fun! (you may need to set this up before your guest arrive or have them help you with the ideas.)

Learning More About Each Other.  All you need is a bag of balloons and some little pieces of paper. On the paper, write down simple questions about one another. For example, what is your favorite childhood memory, favorite color, favorite food, biggest fear, happiest moment, etc? Put them in the balloon and tie it. Then, when ready, pop a balloon and take turns answering each of the questions. You will learn things you did not know and have fun doing it. (this is also one game you may need to set up ahead.)

Coffee house and games.   Kathy mentioned once that it was not always easy to find places to meet couples once you set a date. “They have kids, we have kids and hotels can get expensive, and what if once you meet you are not very compatible.”  She added “What we started doing was meeting at coffee shops.”  I was surprised. She said “Did you know they have games there and they do not care how long you spend there?” You can not have sex there but it is defiantly an option from meeting in a loud bar or your own home. Another friend said “when we chat with couples on line, we try to have them meet us at the club. That way if it does seem like a good match, hey the evening is not wasted because there are at least 50 other couple for us and them to meet.”

In a hotel room:

Making a hotel room look sensual and inviting can be tuff. They are usually designed to be sterile. (don’t we wish) When we attend conventions we always bring things to dress up the room. We have a few members who decorate rooms on club night and they do a great job of making the room look romantic, soft and inviting. The fun thing about an off-premise club like Rocky Mountain Connections is you have time to flirt before doing the deed. Many off-premise clubs give the social atmosphere but then no place to play. Getting your own room is the best way to have a place to invite others to play and for private play. Usually an after hours room is very busy.

When we set up the after –party room, we always bring a boom box with a CD for soft music. Background music is a vital element in setting a flirty, erotic scene. Enigma seems very popular. Here are some other suggestions. For flirty try Frank Sinatra “love is a kick” Stevie Wonder “songs in the key of life” or get classy Paco de Lucua “Solo Quiero Caminar”.  For erotic try Prince “Dirty Mind”, Madonna “Erotica” or Nina Simone “After Hours”.

The lighting is not very homey so you can, change the light bulbs from the florescent white to a soft colored bulb. We also take some scarves with fun prints, they are dark and we cover the other lamps with them.  This adds a touch of color and home without changing all the lights. We usually pull the covers down and place them in a corner or closet. That way the bed is open and inviting, plus you do not mess up the bed spread and blankets. J  Spraying perfume on the sheets can be alluring also. Be sure you do not over do it and use a light fragrance. You do not want your playmates running out of the room chocking and sneezing. I use a product called Clean Linen I got at Linen and Things.

 There is still the same issue of getting from dressed to undressed. We have a dice game that gets people talking and sharing. It is a set of dice you can buy at any adult store. One die has nouns; like breast, below waist or lips. The other die is the verb; like suck, blow or lick.     You roll the dice and do what it says to a person of your choice. The dice do not ask people to take off clothing but with the play, sometimes that happens. You know how it is.

You can always bring any of the games you would use if they were at your home so there is still a time for socializing, but you do not want to spend hours flirting. At this time you would like to have some sensual play time.

Conventions:

One place where we enjoy meeting a lot of swingers in one location is at conventions. There are many opportunities around the country to attend conventions. We enjoy about 3 to 4 a year. They are typically a hotel takeover so you do not have to worry about the “moral” police. They provide theme dances in the evening, fun activities during the day, seminars to learn more about swinging and different activities of swinging and they have a market place.  To top off every evening they have theme play rooms.

At the conventions you will set your hotel room up so it is soft and romantic. You will have the opportunity to invite many different people to play so come prepared.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Romancing another couple - I flirt therefore I date

Before we can romance another couple we need to learn the fine art of flirting. Learn to fascinate, titillate and captivate our prospective play partners.  Flirting is what transforms everyday communication into simmering seduction and superlative play time. When I was single a friend asked me “Why is it that whenever we go anywhere you are the center of attention? What is your secret? You should write a book on flirting.” I was surprised that she saw me that way because I did not think I was doing anything special. I told her “There really is no secret to flirting. Flirting is not flirting if it is obvious.” Learning to flirt should be a basic social skill that can be called up whenever needed.  

Here are the names of some great flirts in history. Adam and Eve, Mona Lisa, Casanova, Snow White and at least two of the Dwarfs, Marilyn Monroe, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony (not Caesar, he was a dork). Here are the Who’s Who in flirts. Joan Collins, Frank Sinatra, Jacqueline Onassis, Zorro, James Bond, and any Kennedy. Lest I forget, Bill Clinton.

(The names in these stories are not the real people)

I overheard two ladies talking at a swinger function. Lady one said “I just think that girl in the pink is a slut” (she said that like it was a bad thing). Lady two added “Yes she is twisting her hair, playing with her jewelry, who is she kidding?” To which Lady one replied “And look at the girl in the black see through dress, what was she thinking?” Lady one whispered “Does she think smiling and batting her eyes really works?” As I listened I noticed those two ladies were alone and pink lady and black dress lady were having a great time. Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing sexual or romantic interest. Isn’t that why we get on line, go to parties and answer winks?

It is foolish to try to impress or make yourself into someone else’s a sexual image or even memorize the right phrases. None of these really work because what is good for one person does not work another person. Every man, woman or couple that I have met has a different view about what is sexy. However, the one enduring trait, the one thing everyone does agree on, is friendliness. If you are friendly and warm, all anyone will see is perfection. Deep down, the core of flirting is friendship.

Betty called after a party and said “we were at the last party and we saw a couple that we thought was attractive. I tried to make eye contact but she kept turning her eyes away. It made me kind of mad and I felt angry the rest of the night. We did not have a very good time and never did hook up with anyone.” I replied by saying that she should not take anything like that personally. “You do not know what was going on in their life.” She said “Well it felt like rejection.” I explained “It is not rejection. They do not know you well enough to reject you. There were 30 other couples you could have enjoyed.” A good flirt does not get discouraged. Since not everyone is attracted to everyone, sometimes we will not get “eye contact.”

Are you a good flirt? Take the quiz.

Did you know that by flirting you are doing someone else a favor? Mary came to me one day and said “I never know how to start a conversation. I am afraid I will say the wrong thing. How do I show someone I am interested in them?” If you are the one who opens the lines of communication, you let them off the proverbial hook. I told Mary not to take flirting so seriously. “You are testing the romantic playful waters, not diving in. Be playful and whimsical.”

Click here for three flirting basics . . .

A flirt is physically prepared. You do not need to walk around the grocery store in makeup and heels (however we do know a lady who picked up a guy in the frozen food section) but in a swinging environment you should look your best. I believe I mentioned the dress code at Rocky Mountain Connections, here is an e-mail from an unhappy attendee.

Dear Lady Suzanne,

“We were going to attend your party last week but read about the dress code. I do not own anything but blue jeans so we could not attend. Why do you have such a ridiculous rule? You are keeping people away. Unless you change your rule I guess we will go to another club.” Signed Hate to dress up

Dear Hate to dress up,

“I am sorry you missed out on a great party. Our members prefer a dress code because people like to get dolled up. Our ladies take time to look sexy and they do not wish to be hit on by someone who cares less about their appearance. They enjoy flirting with gentlemen and gentlemen care about their appearance. “Everyone loves a sharp dressed man” We are sorry you will not be checking us out. Good luck.” Lady Suzanne

A prepared swinger will have their play kit handy. We were at the Naughty in Nawlins convention (see note about conventions at the end of this module) and we had some free time before the dinner. We met a single man and we asked if he wanted to go play. He said “yes, let me get my tool box.” I was ready to panic, but in his tool box were his condoms, lube, cock ring and other fun things.

A flirt is also emotionally prepared. You can not carry your troubles with you all the time. No one wants to be around someone who is negative and complaining. Remember that old song “wrap up your troubles in an old kitbag and smile, smile, smile,”
Being prepared also means having alternatives. So you struck out?! There are always other couples waiting and willing. Have another plan ready; do not dwell on the disappointment. The art of flirting allows new surprises and dilemmas.  The more you flirt, the more confidence you will have. At the Naughty in Nawlins convention, we had plans to meet up with a new couple we met while dancing. They did not show. We waited for a bit and it did not feel good, but we moved on. We ventured into the bar where we met a terrific couple just looking for some fun. We have been friends with them for years now.

Lastly, preparation means knowing what you want from a flirtatious encounter. Not all flirting is about sex. Many times it is just about socializing. It is a wonderful way to get comfortable with new people, become engaged in new situations and can be just plain fun. Flirting is a much about attitude as it is about actions. You need delicacy, patience (there is that word again) and confidence.

I told a friend not to have expectations when they flirt. That is different than a plan. She said “How Ridiculous is that!” I replied “the ridiculous, the miraculous and the emotional all play a part in flirting. If you expect flirtation to end in sex or whatever ____ (fill in the blank), that takes the innocence out of the social interaction.” To flirt well, you need to assume that the pleasure you get from flirting is an end in itself.

Stay flexible. The fun of flirting is, knowing that anything can happen. You may find adventure, friendship or you may taste unusual delights. You will not experience any of these if you do not give it a try. Flirting is "enticing." It is tantalizing and should always be fun. Less is more when it comes to flirting, so create your presence, make your point, make your move and make them desire you. Now go discover the wicked but innocent art of flirting.

Five Don’ts of flirting:

Do not depend on others to make things happen.  I was speaking with a new couple on Love Voodoo and they said they went to a local club and did not feel welcome. I asked them “Did you talk to anyone? Did you participate in any of the activities?” The responded “No, we had hoped someone would come and talk to us.” If we could depend on others to get things started, we would never have to flirt. “Get up off that thang and you make yourself feel better!”

Do not tease. Offering others more than you intend to give will always back-fire. Teasing is not flirting. It is being something you are not, or do not intent to be. All flirting does not lead to sex, so you do not need to make promises.

Do not cling. It is not a good practice to zero in on a single or couple and monopolize them all night. Give them the opportunity to indicate their desire to be with you. I received and e-mail from one of our single ladies…

Dear Lady Suzanne,

“I always have such fun at your parties. Last Saturday however, there was one couple that would not give me space. Each time I tried to move to another table and meet other couple they ended up there also. Even during the couples dance they kept getting in the way of others asking me to dance. I felt very overwhelmed. How should I have handled this?”  Smothered

Dear smothered,

“It is hard when someone decides you are their target. It is hard when they do not understand that the club is about being social, not only about getting laid. At some point you need to say something like; “Thank you for your interest”, “I will get back to you” or “I am not interested.” You could say “I would like to meet or spend time with some other folks.” If it gets too bad, remember that is why we and our team are there. Let us discreetly help you out.” Lady Suzanne

Do not dwell on flirting. Have you ever been around someone and they have just gone over-board with an idea, a joke or even flirting? As stated early on, if flirting is obvious, it looses its influence. Do it and forget it. Remember to keep a friendly tone at all times.

Do not fidget. Tugging at your clothes, moving from side to side, or pacing is just plain annoying. Relax. Remember you are just testing waters, not diving in.

Activity: Visualize yourself flirting.

You need a good clear image of yourself flirting. Give yourself permission to dream about the marvelous outcome of a flirtatious evening.

Visualization #1 > Picture yourself flirting at a convention. No one is around but then you see the most perfect body coming out of the water. You realize that person is coming your way. How do you act …

Visualization # 2 > You are on line chatting and someone sends you an IM. They read your profile and are interested in getting together. Where and when will you meet …

Visualization #3 > You are at an club party. A couple you met before but they never called back and a couple you have had fun with several times have both come to the party. You see them having fun, flirting and dancing. How will you spend the rest of the evening …

Visualization #4 > You have just won a strip contest at a swinging event. A couple comes over and asked how you did it? What is your next romantic move …

Now that your flirting skills have paid off and you have asked another couple to play, what is next?  See the March newsletter for where to go from here. 

Happy Swinging!

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

How to meet more people and have more opportunities to play

How has your experience with swinging been for you? Are you meeting some fun couples? Have you had the opportunity to play? Have you discovered some fantasies of your own? This article will be dedicated to helping you make this “Lifestyle” fun and an adventure for you. 

How can you increase your contacts?  First by being members of RMCSC you have access to two terrific sites; Lifestyle Lounge and LoveVooDoo. If you have not used your free trial membership, contact us and set up your profile on these sites. Many other couples, not just RMCSC members are on these sites and you can contact them, meet with them and increase your contacts. We have many members who meet with new couples at the club. It is a safe place to meet, plus if it turns out not to be a good match, it is still a good night for dancing, flirting and still some play opportunity. (Remember if you invite a new couple, you get $10 off your door fee and they get $10 off their membership. )

Also, when on these sites blog. I am always checking out what others are saying, adding comments and even coming up with  new fun questions myself. Get involved on the site. It will give you exposure (oh there is that word) and you will make contacts.

Where do we go to meet?  Well you know I will use this as a plug for the club but also give a few other great places to hook up. First if you are on any swing site, be sure you have a profile. Tell a little about what you like and what you are looking for. Also read other profiles. If you find someone that seems interesting, contact them.  We receive many winks. That is always flattering but I never know what they mean. So I suggest you send a little note. “We read your profile, looks like we may have some things in common. If interested contact us and we can meet?”  Or  “We see you like (fill in blank) so do we. Would you be interested in meeting?”

My shameless plug is … if you are on a site where we post parties and you think you might attend, be sure to place your profile on the event. It shows there is an interest in the party, is a plug for the club and others will see your sexy self will be there. And not to say… place a booty call on the day of the event. If you are on line anyway, just place the booty call so others will see there is activity at the club. This will draw interest from other people on the site and increase you chances of meeting new people.  The more the merrier!

There are other clubs meeting in the area and you should check them out. They have a different venue then Rocky Mountain Connections, but you may find them interesting and you will meet more new people. We enjoy going to the Mon Chalet when the club is not meeting. It is an adult hotel with large pool and two hot tubs. They have added a play bed also. We like to go for the nude swim and hot tub and meet other couples for possible play.  You do not need to get a room you can get a pool pass and just enjoy the water and go home. Not too expensive. The Mon Chalet is open 24 – 7.

The Scarlet Ranch is an on premise club that moved from the mountains to Denver. They have a membership fee and cover charge. It is a BYOB and because they do not sell liquor, you can have sex almost anywhere. They have a dance floor; several play cubicles for sexual play and a hot tub.   The Scarlet Ranch is open Wednesday thru Sunday at night.

The newest place is the Sugar House. We have only been one time and we had a nice time. It is a lifestyle friendly bar. The do not have a membership but usually a cover charge. They have a small dance floor and beds for sitting on but no sexual play. They do have some private rooms upstairs but I am not sure of the cost or how to reserve them.

So if you still want more places to go, go to www.nasca.com  and click on Colorado. Read the testimonies and check the web sites and try some new things.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Deviance or Diversity?

As we celebrate our 7 years in business we are thankful for all the friends we have met, the fantasies we have fulfilled, and we look forward to the friends and fantasies yet to come. Michael and I have had the pleasure of meeting many wonderful people in this lifestyle and expanding our horizons.  We have been very lucky to meet many friends who express their sexual freedom in very different ways.  Once we opened our minds and our hearts to the differences, we experienced an explosion of fantastic fun and friends. Sadly, we have also met many who still feel that they have the right to tell others how they should feel or not feel, and how they should express themselves in sexual play.  The truth about being a sexual being is “there are no rules”.  We are all different, have had different life experiences, and express ourselves in very different ways.

The enjoyment we get from spending time with Drag Queens is unparalleled. They have a light spirit and very warm hearts. They know how to have a great time and to be who they enjoy being. These ladies are part of  a loving and sharing community and have done so much to fight AIDS and to help its victims. Their celebration of life is far beyond what many of us experience because of the close ties with the sadness of AIDS. Our first encounter with these fantastic ladies was the result of a friend’s invitation to a Christmas party. All of the performers were having fun. Some were dressed up lovely and some just for the fun of it. Some were singing serious songs and some were singing the wrong words to songs. We laughed so hard. We found that we enjoy the glitz and glamour and try to make as many events as we can.

The members from the gay community that we have had the pleasure of spending time with are so much fun. They are open and honest with who they are, enjoy being accepted for who they are, and know what friendships and relationships are all about. What a wonderful thing to see ‘couples’ together for such long periods. The strong family ties and the devotion and dedication they have for each other and their community always touches me. The first time we were invited to share in a community BBQ was to celebrate a friend running for office. The food, the fun and the fellowship was uplifting.

Have you ever had the pleasure of meeting people who express their sexuality in the realms of bondage play? Wow! I did not know what I did not know. There is a science to this type of play and a freedom of trust and expression that someone outside the game cannot understand. We have been to several conventions and even now in our own club, where we were able to view some bondage rituals. Hot oils, red fannies and strange contraptions were the teachers. Anyone who participated left with smiles and a new sense of who they are. What can be more freeing than that?

So what about those swingers? What is their gig? What we have experienced from being swingers is the freedom to express ourselves sexually; in our dress, in our play and in our fantasies. The people in the lifestyle are friendly, happy, well adjusted and honest. We could share many of our experiences, like giving blow jobs for beads (why be traditional?), having your pussy shaved in public, sharing a king bed with 8 people, and finding use for toys and food that were new to us. No, food is not a toy!

It seems that those who sit in judgment of people who are “not like them” are missing so much of what life has to give.  Michael and I would like this club to be a club where everyone celebrates those differences.  Does it matter if swingers like threesomes, foursomes, groups or orgies? Do you like to see (or be part of) bi sexual play? Should you care if people like to be tied, gagged or spanked? Why should it matter if someone is straight, bi, gay, a cross-dresser, dominatrix or trans-gendered? As active swingers we have blurred the lines of sensuality, and certainly have opposed the accepted practices of our current culture. We represent a range on the spectrum of human sexuality. What we all share is that we are sexual and expressive, and want to be accepted as we are.

top

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

Cliques

I have been getting a lot of questions about “Does RMCSC have cliques?” “We heard that RMCSC is too cliquey.”   Well here is my response:
 
We first must remember what a clique is. Webster defines clique as " a small, exclusive set of people." I define a clique as "a group of people that are familiar with one another, not necessary exclusive." When you walk into any environment, church, bar, club you look immediately for a familiar face. There is comfort in seeing people you know. At Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club there are cliques, only because we like to be with people like us. We like to be with people who give us a good feeling. However, at RMCSC you will find the members busy all night getting to know other members and new faces.

Many times it seems as if people are in a clique because you have not familiarized yourself with them. Many times it is just the perception of cliques. Couples in the Lifestyle enjoy meeting new people because they enjoy new experiences. If you are friendly, outgoing and pleasant, you will attract people in whom you will be interested, and who will be interested in you.
Couples tend to have their own set of "rules" or "guidelines" to govern the sexual activities they are willing to consider. Do you? If you do then you know there are situations and people you do not want to participate with. You would then naturally migrate to couples that think and fantasize closer to what you want to experience. This is not cliquish; it is comfort. Since a clique can be any size, who is to say it is all bad? Just find one that fits and try it on.

top

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

Tips for newbies - Reminders for the rest of us

With so many new couples joining we want to remind everyone about the dress code, some personal hygiene and the music.

First: the dress code. We do have a dress code! You as members have asked that we do not change the dress code so we would like to remind you what it is. No casual dress (unless it is a theme party). We do not allow blue jeans, no matter how much they cost. We do not allow sports attire, ball caps or tennis shoes. Men, dress like the gentlemen you are. Nice slacks (they do not need to be dress slacks), and a shirt with a collar. Ladies, dress to impress (that is easy). June, July and August we do allow nice shorts for the men. But remember - no cut offs or jean shorts.

Second: Personal hygiene. There is a lot of dancing, flirting, and drinking that goes on during the party, so keep up appearances. Watch for body odor. No matter how attracted someone is to you, if there is body odor, it will be a turn off. Freshen up during the evening if you need to and watch out for each other. With the drinking there can be bad breath. Do not brush your teeth just before play because you will have open sores in your mouth. Use a mouth wash with anti bacteria, Good for fresh breath and good for you.

Also if you have an STD, remember to inform any playmates. You may not be contagious, and you may take all the precautions, but the couple you are playing with deserves to know the situation and then make an informed decision.

Last: The music is hard for Syn and Rob because of the diversity in ages and the diversity in style of music. They are very happy to have you request the songs you would like to hear. Also the volume is always an issue. We try to keep it low enough so you can still flirt and talk, but we also need it loud enough to add excitement and energy for dancing. We will constantly be working on this but come prepared to dance, flirt and find some playmates.

top

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

Who do you want to play with?

There was a thread on Lifestyle Lounge that caught my eye. The question was … “Would you prefer someone with the perfect body and not the best personality or someone who was overweight with a great personality?” The responses where terrific. They ranged from “I’d take the great body and bring a gag” to “ what does it mater? it is just sex.” The whole thread got me thinking. Who would you have sex with?

There is always chatter about looks, size, personality and age. There are always profiles that say “we are a sexy couple” or “we are an athletic couple.” What does it mean? Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder how can we quantify it? The idea of what society thinks is sexy has changed many times over the centuries. At on time being Rubenesque was sexy, and then there was Twiggy. We definitely can not forget Marilyn Monroe. If you look at the tabloids, society still has a narrow view of sexy and handsome. Many gush over Tom Cruise, yet I am attracted to Sam Elliot.

So let’s talk about that. I have met people who are very fit, very attractive but the second they open their mouths.. UGH! their personality makes you uncomfortable, uneasy and looking for the nearest exit. They are self absorbed, maybe too talkative (most about themselves) or they complain a lot, very negative. This ruins any type of appeal there may have been. I have also had the pleasure of meeting people who are not in “tip top” shape but their personality is attractive. They smile, they make you feel comfortable and they are genuinely interested. I may not have been attracted initially but soon they became very beautiful.

In most of the threads couples said that a personality really played a big role in whether they play or not. They only want to play with someone they are attracted to. Attraction can be about physical fitness or equally important a great personality. In high school when your friend said “she has a great personality” you knew you were getting a dog. Since we are now past all that, having a great personality is a bonus.

Physical appearance is the first thing we see in someone. It is not shallow, it is human. We do need to be attracted on some level. Physical attraction is usually what gets us interested, but personality is what makes us decide if we want to play. A great personality adds to the attraction. We have met some very attractive people but their personality made us decide to move on and they were no longer attractive.

As humans we do have a tendency to quickly judge the wrapping on the package. I believe in doing so we miss a lot of potential play mates and potential friends. Most people would pick someone a little less attractive who has an awesome personality over a total hottie with a crappy attitude. For us, a person’s body is not the deal breaker, but a shitty attitude is.

The LifestyleLounge thread implied that you can have either ‘beautiful with a bad personality’ or ‘not-so-beautiful with a great personality’. We hear that a lot in our conversations with people as well. Is that a way for those of us with less-than-perfect bodies to rationalize that we are as good as they are? Probably. The truth is that people can have great bodies AND personalities, and others can be unattractive AND have crappy attitudes. We really don’t need justification. Most of us look for people who are more or less like us. Be honest and real, and the rest will work out.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Would you kiss a girl?

Seems like an odd statement from someone in the lifestyle but a new survey from the center for Disease Control states “women are increasingly locking lips with other woman.” First Madonna kissed Britney, Samantha toyed around with a lesbian lover in Sex and the City and then the film “Imagine you and me” had two girls lusting after each other. CDC also claimed that 6.9 million ladies said they had had a sexual experience with another woman. Another 4400 said they would if there was no chance of them getting caught. There has been a new term created called “straight-ish.”

Marie Claire, of Marie Claire magazine, asks if being Bi-Curious is suddenly cool? Most people in the Lifestyle feel that “sex is just sex.” We do not worry about same-sex experiences defining who we are or branding us for life. Some women dabble within their own gender because they find the idea of breaking sexual boundaries stimulating. And we all know men find it very hot. Many years ago Johnson and Johnson said “everyone is bi.” (I knew I liked them.) Many women are interested in having fun and experiencing with the physical familiarity of being with another woman. Many are drawn to something deeper. There is an emotional connection with other women that they do not get from the men in their lives. This emotional connection can transform into desires that are erotic and full of physical enthusiasm.

Kissing girls is different from kissing guys. Guys tend to be clumsier and have an ultimate goal in mind. Kissing a girl is more sensitive, softer and gentler. Girls understand the intimacy of kissing. You enjoy kissing for the pleasure of kissing. There is not a rush and the act of kissing itself can be arousing.

Numerous sex scientists agree that few of us are totally straight or totally gay. On a scale of 1-10 most of us would fall in the middle. (Hey guys, you too. Except Carl and Dennis) (Names have been changed to protect the lucky). Candy said her first experience was when she was a little buzzed and she just let it happen. She was a party girl and the atmosphere of the bar and drinks just allowed her to let go. She was thrilled and never looked back. Joanne said her first time was planned and she met someone at a club (our club) who was happy to give her, her first kiss. The first kiss and maybe the first play does not mean you will give up on men, it just means you can have it all.

When I mentioned a girlfriend in a passing moment to my husband, he was on a mission. We found the perfect venue for girl-girl girls. My first experience with a girl was in the 7th grade. She took me to a place I had never been and it was very exciting. However I never examined it further because I was afraid of public opinion. Glad I no longer agree with society ? It was later in life and with the right man, that I found a way to enjoy women and enjoy men.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Living well in a sexual revolution:

Sexual health is something of an enigma for many of us. It is often taken for granted when we have it, and sorely missed when we do not. Sexual health is assumed by so many people to be automatic, that we pay little attention to how it can be maintained. Many people are unaware of fundamental preventative measures they can follow to ensure a healthy sex life.
At one level, many of the sexual problems that occur are still regarded as trivial in the sense that they are neither life-threatening, nor even associated with major health consequences. However if you or someone you love is affected, this “trivial” sexual problem can affect the quality of there lives. To a man who can not control his ejaculations or a woman who is dealing with a non-existent sex drive during menopause or someone who can not consummate a relationship; their problems are not “trivial.”
We live in a time where there are miraculous techniques for treating sexual disorders. The sexual response undergoes a variety of changes as we go through the different stages of our life. While the young and beautiful seem to be the center of sexual advertisements, it is also true that many men and women continue to enjoy a rich and satisfying sex life well past retirement. No matter how old we get few of us outgrow the need to touch and to be touched.
Men can get an erection in the time it takes to lick a stamp. This is true of anyone who keeps themselves physically fit and sexually active. Let us all enjoy the sweet feast of satisfying sex until the end of our lives.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Taking no for an answer

Everyone has the right of refusal. You should not swing with a person unless you want to, and they do not have to swing with you. NO always means NO. Coercion has no place in free healthy and playful sexual interactions. To pressure someone by threats or making them feel unworthy constitutes a kind of sexual blackmail. Even saying “come on, you will like it” or “why not?” is rude and prohibited behavior. NO MEANS NO. Be honest with yourself regarding your feelings and expect others to do the same. Do not say “maybe later”, if you really mean no.

Also learn to say no. When things are uncomfortable or someone has approached you that you are not interested in, be honest. We do not mercy fuck! A gentle “no” “not now” “no thanks” will do. If they do not get it, PLEASE tell us or our team that night so we can deal with it. We can handle these things tactfully.

This includes the ballroom and dance floor. It is easy to get caught up in the moment, especially when you see many people kissing and groping. Make sure that you have implied or real consent before grabbing butts, boobs and balls. This is not a free-for-all (except for Michael. You all have permission to grab me, I mean him, whenever you want).

When you say yes be enthusiastic and honest. When you say no be tactful and courteous. “no thank you.” or just “No.” Most people prefer if you are upfront and honest. Accept refusal graciously. We all need to be realistic, we are not attracted to everyone and everyone will not be attracted to us. But the great part is there are plenty of people who will be eager to play. In a side note … be sure the yes you heard is truly a yes, and not just your wishful thinking. Be sure you have received full consent to sex or some form of sexual play.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Housekeeping

Attention sexy partiers. I guess it’s time to do a little housekeeping. It seems like things get to critical mass about once a year and we have to remind people of a few things.

1) Inappropriate dress or behavior. This is a public hotel. Even the 8th floor is public (except for New Year’s Eve). That means that you can’t go out into the halls naked or inappropriately attired. I know, it’s easy to forget in the ‘heat’ of the moment, but it is important that we are ALWAYS dressed appropriately when in any public area. If the hotel were to receive a complaint of naked people or lewd behavior, they would have no choice but to terminate our arrangement. We will take whatever action is necessary to ensure that doesn’t happen, including cancelling the membership of anyone jeopardizing our situation.

2) Bringing outside drinks into the ballroom. The hotel has a liquor license issued by the City and County of Denver, and, just like any bar, they must abide by liquor laws. One rule is that you can not bring outside drinks into the ballroom. It doesn’t matter if they don’t have your brand of pop or even if it is just water. We have turned a blind eye in the past, but the hotel is giving us a little heat because it has become blatant.

There are two things you can do to make it easier:
a. If the bar does not stock your preferred drink, ask them (or me) to bring it in. They are very good about accommodating us when they can.

b. If you want a particular pop or mixer, you can give it to the bartender and he will use it for your drinks.

The Holiday Inn has been very accommodating to our group. We get good service and good room prices. We appreciate your cooperation in maintaining a good relationship with the hotel.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Is your body language holding you back?

Are you having a tuff time meeting other couples, or does it seem they do not want to approach you? Your gestures and posture may be saying more than you know. Body language is the single most important means of expressing ourselves. We often think a lot about what we want to say to others, but forget about our posture language. Here are some body-language goofs.

Crossing your arms and legs:
The message: This gesture says you are closed to whatever the other person is saying. “I wish you were not here or I am protecting myself.”
The fix: Find something to do with your arms that is comfortable with out crossing them. Try one hand in your pocket; let your body get comfortable to feeling more open. Remember placing both hands in your pocket makes you look nervous and uninterested. Holding something in your hand (a glass) can also remind you not to cross your arms. Practice sitting with your arms relaxed, hands in your lap and legs side by side.

Twisting your jewelry, playing with your hair:
The message: You look like a nervous teenager.
The fix: These habits are so ingrained that often we do not even know we are doing them. Next time you are feeling nervous, take a mental inventory of what is going on with your body. Each time you are tempted to start fidgeting, take a deep breath. Another trick is the next time you are in a group of people, focus on someone who looks self-confident and relaxed. Emulating their behavior will make you aware of your nervous mannerisms and help you stop.

Slouching:
The message: I am not feeling competent or I am depressed.
The fix: Force yourself to stand and sit up straight. I had an Aunt who would come up behind me and thumb me in the back to get me to sit or stand straight. Try to hold your head up and smile. If you are looking up your head your body will follow. Ask your partner to help. Michael and I watch each other and remind each other to sit tall and stand straight.

Avoiding eye contact:
The message: If you refuse to meet someone’s eyes you are giving the message that you are nervous, unconfident or worse .. untrustworthy.
The fix: Practice maintaining eye contact for slightly longer periods. You may feel uncomfortable at first but you will ease into it. One good trick is to look the person right between the eyes. This shift will make you feel comfortable and connected. Try not to shift from eye to eye is a rapid manner it is very discomforting to the other person.

Looking around the room.
The message: This gesture comes across as arrogant or rude. The same goes for continually glancing at your watch or phone.
The fix: Even if the subject matter steers from you, look interested. If it is too boring to pretend then excuse yourself politely and walk away, or try changing the subject. If you are caught glancing around simply say with an apologetic smile, I am waiting for someone, I see someone, excuse me. As Dennis would say “Stay focused”

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Did you know? The amount of sex you have affects your health!

According to the Time magazine and health professionals, those with healthy, active sex lives are healthier, happier and live longer than our inhibited counter-parts. Need another reason to swing? From biology to psychology, sex can be a complex thing. Physical contact, the feeling of skin on skin is the most precious thing we humans can offer one another. From the tickle of hair on the face to a scent drawn from a pressed nose to a neck, the human touch is priceless. Of all the splendidly ridiculous, magnificent and glorious things humans do, it is sex, with its countless permutations of practices and partners, that most perplexes our understanding. We could simply say "Sex is Fun", but now we know it has health benefits also.

First: The relationship benefits from a steady sex life. Partners who maintain a robust sex life are more likely to remain partners longer than those who do not. A steady sex life can benefit the physical and emotional health of the partners themselves. Research suggests that married people may live longer than singles, but that happily married couples do the best of all. Couples who remain at least somewhat sexual, even as they age, report a better level of satisfaction with their relationships and their lives as a whole.

It is hard to say if couples that start off happy with their lives as a whole simply have more sex or if having more sex makes them happy. Whatever the answer, it is clear that human beings would not be fully homo sapiens without the dimensions, the mysteriousness and the celebration of our sexuality.

Second: Active sex can boost the heart, relieve pain and keep you from getting sick. Still need another reason to swing? Studies are showing that arousal and an active sex life lead to a longer life. The “sex glow” has its effect on almost every part of the body. Your brain, your heart and your immune system benefit from sex. The act of intercourse burns about 200 calories. That beats running for 30 minutes. During an orgasm, the heart rate and your blood pressure double under the influence of oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone that influences our ability to bond with one another.

Third: If you want to grow younger, HAVE MORE SEX! If you want a formula for looking and feeling younger, forget the wrinkle creams. Dash home and get frisky. Improving the quality of your sex life will help you look 4 to 7 years younger. Need I say more? And to add to that, we now the benefits of cum when taken internally or applied to the skin.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Dating tips

Many of us in the Lifestyle are meeting couples on line. It seems safe and easy. I, however, have found it not so easy. Not everyone is honest, not everyone shows up and it is time consuming. So whether you meet at a club (much more fun) or on line, here are some tips for success:

Be honest! Be honest with yourself, your partner and potential play couples. Know what you like and how you like to play. Know what kind of relationship you want and what kind of fun you are looking for. If you are not sure or just exploring, let them know that too. Success in the Lifestyle is dependent on an honest relationship, both with your partner and potential play partners.

Be honest when you post your profile and photos. We knew a couple that we felt was attractive however on their profile they had placed a much different body onto their heads. Why is that necessary? It does not make sense to be something you are not when your intention is to meet. If you are 150lbs and say you are 110, don’t you think they will notice? Watch out for couples who seem too good to be true, they probably are. Trust your instincts.

Write a good profile. Keep it light and friendly and avoid anything negative. Never include last name, address, phone numbers or any identifying information. It is still a strange world out there and you do not want to set yourself up to be a target. Your profile should include information about both of you. Describe your appearance and personalities. If you do pictures they should include both of you. Most couples are looking for couples so present yourself as a couple.

Your profile should include what you are looking for. Be specific but not limiting. If you read your profile would you know what you are looking for? If so, others will also.

Photos are a personal choice. Many couples will not respond with out photos and some use the photos to pick specific types. We use them when ready to meet so we can recognize each other.

Meet only when you are ready. Meet in a safe place. Clubs work very well because then if you do not click there are other couples to interact with.

Watch for red flags. Displays of anger, frustration at your questions, attempts to pressure or control. Watch how they interact with each other as a couple. Do they communicate, do they enjoy each other, and is one pressuring the other? How they treat each other is a big clue on how they will treat you.

Never do anything you are unsure about!

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Feel sexier then ever

Have you ever been around a woman who oozes sexual energy? Have you ever wished you could be more like that woman? YOU CAN. If you give yourself license to revel in your sensuality every day, you will enjoy sex more and feel sensual.

First: Worship your Body. Being sexy is not asking the question “Am I hot” but making the statement “yes I am hot” To change your mind-set you need to practice. Try this .. after your shower, slather on some body oil and take a full minute to delight in your curves. Then pick clothes that feel good against your skin.

Second: Sleep sensually. Toss those ratty pj’s and splurge on slinky camisoles and soft, flirty undies. Better yet, indulge in a luxurious set of sheets and slip between them in the nude. Sleeping nude gets you comfortable in your own skin.

Third: Sex on the brain. Fantasize about sex daily. It does not matter if you are in the shower or daydreaming at work. Besides stimulating blood flow to your genitals, it puts you in a more sensual zone, so you can get revved for sex more easily. How sexy are you? Check out the web site, ask Lady Suzanne for a brief quiz on your sexual confidence.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL

I AM THE NEW YEAR.

I am unused, unspotted, without blemish.
I stretch before you three hundred sixty-five days long.
I will present each day in its turn, a new leaf in the Book of Life, for you to place upon it your imprint.
It remains for you to make of me what you will; if you write with firm, steady strokes, my pages will be a joy to look upon when the New Year comes.
If the pen falters - if uncertainty, doubt, or wrongdoings mar the page - it will become a day to remember with pain.

I AM THE NEW YEAR.

During each hour of the three hundred sixty-five days, I will give you sixty minutes that have never known the use of man.
White & pure, I present them: It remains for you to fill them with sixty jeweled seconds of love, hope, endeavor, patience, & trust in your Creator.

I AM THE NEW YEAR.

I am Here . . . . . . . . . . but once past, I can never be recalled.

MAKE ME YOUR BEST ! ! ! !

See you in 2006 we have a great year planned for your pleasure. After all …” It is our business doing pleasure with you. “

Suzanne and Michael

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

How likeable are you?

Your success and fulfillment in the lifestyle is the result of how likeable you are. Likeability is the ability to produce positive attitudes in others. Someone who is likeable gives you a sense of joy, happiness, relaxation and rejuvenation. Someone who is likeable can bring relief from depression, anxiety or boredom. Here are four ways to boost your likeability factor.

1. Friendliness: The key to likeability is friendliness. Friendliness is being agreeable and open while also conveying warmth and comfort. Studies have been shown that smiling faces are perceived as more attractive then non-smiling faces. Vocal tones also play a role in how people perceive you. People will hear the tone of your voice more than the words you are speaking. Do not talk loudly. Even if someone is yelling at you, talk softly back.

2. Connection: People want to be with people who express an interest in them and the things they do. You find a bridge to someone else’s world through a common interest, person or belief. If someone needs to laugh and a sense of humor is one of your strengths, then you will be a likeable person to that individual.

3. Empathy: The ability to recognize, acknowledge and experience other people’s feelings is key. It is about being a good listener and knowing how to respond. The expression of feelings often occurs in the space between words, during a pause. You listen not only with your ears but with your eyes and your heart. Think about what they said and what they are feeling.

4. Genuineness: Whatever you do, do not pretend! You need to honestly want to get to know someone – and allow them to get to know you. There are no reasons for games. You want to feel comfortable with people you meet, so be real.

Once you raise your likeability level, the people around you will feel as if you bring out the best in them. You are positive-minded and bring joy to others’ lives.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

With all the choices you have to party, why choose Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club?

We ask ourselves that all the time so we can be sure we understand what you are looking for and how you may be feeling. The Lifestyle can be scary and erotic at the same time. You see the advertisements for big parties and conventions and it seems everyone is “perfect”. We love perfect but the truth is, we are not all perfect. So where can you go and try out this swinging thing without feeling as if you will not fit in? When Michael and I ventured down this path, that was a big thought for me. I am the grandmother of 7 and I have never been a size 5. Am I just setting myself up for rejection? What we have done is redefine what it means to be sexy, pretty, beautiful, or attractive. What does sexy really mean anyway? It is very clear that the term is tenuous and intangible. What is attractive to one may not be to another. Can you define attractive as one with big eyes, small nose, big hips, long legs, etc etc. The fact is, it can be all those things, or a combination of a few or something totally unexpected. If that is so, then everyone is sexy and attractive because we all like different things. Attractive people are attractive because they like who they are. Sexy is as sexy does.

What will you find at RMCSC? Here are a few comments that have been shared with us.

“ We have tried other clubs but keep coming back to RMCSC. We like the people. We like how you feel comfortable and how everyone is welcome. We like how Michael and Suzanne make a fun evening and have ways to get everyone meeting everyone else."

“We have heard of other clubs but once we tried RMCSC we found just what we wanted. We like the social part of the evening. We can flirt, dance and meet new people with out the pressure to perform."

“We wondered if we would fit in but RMCSC is so diverse in the ages, races, sizes and sexual preferences that there is no way not to fit in. You will always meet some great people and have a wonderful time with your partner."

Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club is keeping the social part in the Lifestyle. It is not all about who is the prettiest, how many people can you have sex with but about relationships. Meeting friends you can enjoy to dinner, a movie and/or have sex with. We all know that sexiness is more than skin deep, that people can be sexy at any age and that being sexy is about being confident. Come to Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club and express your sexy side and set yourself free.

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Oral Sex

People who have educated their tongues in the arts of love are overcoming a long-standing taboo in Western society. (not that we are not already breaking most rules) In Victorian times oral/genital contact was considered so loathsome that in many states it was illegal. Even within the sanctity of marriage. If prosecuted your were accused of “copulation by mouth”. Oh My! (FYI it is still illegal in some southern states today).

We thank all of you who have a “perverse impulse to commit cunnilingus” and are enjoying oral sex because it seems natural and feels good. The Kama Sutra describes oral/genital contact in great and loving detail devoting a whole chapter to fellatio (mouth –to-penis play) Tantric writings give elaborate instructions for that particular rite of endless fascination. The male is very attendant to the vagina. He wants to touch it, see it, smell it, taste it and … you know what it J .

In the early 1940’s it was discovered that the upper class was more likely to indulge in oral sex than the lower class. Now many years later there is no class distinction, and I might add no gender distinction either about who likes oral sex. In a Redbook survey there is an overwhelming majority who said they give and receive oral sex often or at least occasionally. They use it regularly or to spice up their lovemaking. Interesting fact: Woman who had cunnilingus and fellatio the most often, and who enjoyed it the most are those who said their sex lives and their relationships were excellent.

So what does this say? It means that the willingness to be sexually daring and imaginative seems strongly correlated with sexual happiness. Some people object to oral sex for reasons that are not entirely rational. Some people feel oral sex is unsanitary. All you need to do is practice ordinary personal hygiene. There are is more bacteria in the mouth than on the vagina or the penis. Some women worry about swallowing semen. A healthy man’s semen is a harmless concoction of water, protein, fructose and minerals. It is not dangerous to your health. To some it has an unpleasant taste but it is not harmful. In fact, Michael insists that it is a cure for many ailments. He is always so considerate – offering to share his ‘snake oil’ several times a day. What a guy!

A much more serious worry is the risk of contracting AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease through oral sex. AIDS is a blood disease so if you have no open wounds in your mouth then there is little risk. Never brush your teeth or floss before performing oral sex. Rinse instead with an anti-bacterial mouth wash if you need to freshen up. Also, once semen is in the stomach the acid from the stomach kill any virus. If you are still concerned use a rubber or on the female a dental dam. (it is a thin sheet of latex placed over the genitals). Go forth and have fantastic, fellatio fun.

Suzanne

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

What is all this Chatting about?

Seems the internet has done a lot to bring people together. Anytime you do not know where something might be, go to the internet and you can find anything. Find true love, find classmates, find rare stuff. So why is it I can not find where to go to chat with swingers. I love to talk about the Lifestyle, how fun it is, how to meet people, where to party? I have tried a few online chats and many times I am asked to stop promoting the club. We hear all the time how “we met on line” All I can say is How are you doing it?

So for this little chat I would like to invite anyone to e-mail me with where you chat and see if I can get onto the site and chat with you. Some chats seem to go so fast that you can not follow the conversation, some chats take several minutes with Hi bob, hi Jen, hi 2for and on and on. Some get interesting about things other than the lifestyle and some about the Lifestyle. That is what I am looking for. I would like to have all who read this share their experiences with me.

Suzanne

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Dating Tips

Many lifestylers are meeting couples on-line. It seems safe and easy, but it’s not. So whether you meet at a club (much more fun) or on-line, here are some tips for success:

Be honest! Be honest with yourself, your partner and potential play couples. Know what kind of relationship you want and what kind of fun you are looking for.

Be honest when you post your profile and photos. Watch out for couples who seem too good to be true, Trust your instincts.

Write a good profile. Keep it light and friendly and avoid anything negative. Never include last name, address, phone numbers or any identifying information.

Photos are a personal choice. Many couples will not respond if your profile does not have photos, and some use the photos to pick specific types. We use them when ready to meet so we can recognize each other.

Chat by phone or on line before you decide to meet. A call can reveal much more about a couple. How do they communicate? Do they have social skills? Only give your number if you feel comfortable. Cell numbers are better to give than land lines, which can be traced to your address with a reverse directory.

Meet only when you are ready. Meet in a safe place. Clubs work very well because if you do not click, there are other couples to interact with.

Watch for red flags. Displays of anger, frustration at your questions, attempts to pressure or control.

Never do anything you are unsure about!

Suzanne

© Lady Suzanne
Rocky Moutnain Connections Social Club
Denver Colorado

top

Penis Size

There is so much talk about size, but does size really matter? Even in the Vanilla world there is talk about size. Size of breasts, butts and penises. This is nothing new. Thousands of years ago painters and sculptors took artistic license with their subjects. Women were often shown with larger breasts and hips – symbolizing fertility. Males were shown with broader shoulders, larger muscles and, of course, larger penises depicted virility.

So, what is the truth? Does size matter? The truth is …are you ready for this?... there is no universal truth. Each lady has her preference. Often it is more an issue with men. You guys like to see us playing with a big dick. (Just FYI, all of those artists that I mentioned earlier were men).

You can’t do much about the size of your penis, but you CAN do something about your attitude, lovemaking skills and confidence, which are more important than size to ALL of the ladies I know. You have heard this before, but for some reason refuse to believe it. Focusing on your size will make it difficult to keep your confidence – and your dick – up. Is it fun to find the “big” boy to play with? Sometimes it is. The Lifestyle is all about variety. But I can say that it is never a determining factor for me, and some of the “big” boys will not go where the average guys can go. I love penises of all shape and sizes. When you see me, show me yours!

Suzanne

top

What about new comers?

We are asked many times and at many socials how well new couples are accepted into the Lifestyle. Our answer is that the majority of our members are very understanding of new members. We understand they are a little fearful or unsure how things work when first entering the lifestyle. We were all the “new couple” at one time.

Getting involved in the social activities, chatting things up while at a social and getting involved on the forum are all great ways to ease into the lifestyle and make your presence known. Your social is easier if you attend the orientation. It is a good way to meet other new couples and get answers to your questions. The more you know, the more comfortable you are. Even f you have been in the Lifestyle for a while, but have never partied at a club, the orientation is comfortable and informative. We do not know what we do not know.

The best advice we can offer is to take your time and be patient. Get to know your rules as a couple, get to know what you like and do not like, and be friendly. Try to get out to some events to meet some of our members in person. They are the best … friendly, understanding and sexy.

top

Beautiful People

I was having a discussion with some couples and they mentioned that they sometimes feel very uncomfortable in the Lifestyle. More specifically, they are self-conscious about their appearance. I remember when Mike and I started in the Lifestyle I wondered who would be attracted to a grandmother of 7. I am not perfect. My body is showing some of the signs of a good life and of birthing children. Many of the advertisements promoting the Lifestyle focus on the “beautiful” people. Why would I set my self up to be rejected?

We promote sexual freedom. Freedom to explore your fantasies, discover new ones and grow into your own beautiful sexual self. Most of the people in the lifestyle are not perfect in body. What makes anyone sexy is self image. How we feel about ourselves. We do give more thought to how we look, how we feel and how we present ourselves. It is almost a cliché’ that so many couples are on the Atkins or South Beach diet. Way to go! Good health is never a bad thing. However, we must remember that to be sexy and exude confidence is not so much about the body (yes they are beautiful) but about attitude and a friendly demeanor.

top

Good personal hygiene = more play

There are several things we need to keep in mind if your intent is closeness and sexual play. During the course of the evening we dance, drink and get aroused. This is good, this is part why we meet, but to begin play time we need to watch for the following:

Sugar. Be sure you rinse your mouth with mouth wash after a night of drinking, smoking and eating sweets. Sugar can cause a yeast infection in some women. Do not brush your teeth immediately before pla